“So… Are You a Stripper?” How to Respond Without Throwing Strippers Under the Bus

1 Aug

From www.sextember.com.au by Ally Cat - view original post here

If you’ve been pole dancing for more than five minutes, chances are someone has hit you with that question:

“Sooo… are you a stripper?” 😏

Sometimes it’s genuine curiosity, sometimes it’s loaded with judgment, and a lot of the time it’s just plain awkward. Either way, it puts us in a weird spot—because while you might not be a stripper, you also don’t want to throw strippers under the bus just to make yourself look more “respectable.”

So let’s talk about how to respond without accidentally whore-shaming or denying the roots of pole altogether.

💡 First Things First: Stripping Is Not a Bad Word

Let’s just get this out of the way: stripping is a legit job. The end.

Strippers are artists, athletes, hustlers, and entertainers—and many of them are ridiculously good at pole. Pole dancing as we know it? Yeah, it wouldn’t exist without strip clubs and sex workers. The moves, the style, the vibe—so much of what we love comes from that world.

So if someone reacts like stripping is “beneath” them (or you), that says a lot more about them than it does about strippers—or you.

🧭 What to Say When Someone Asks

Here are a few ways to respond that keep things real and respectful:

“Nope, I’m not a stripper—but I have mad respect for those who are.”Quick, clear, and non-judgy. Perfect for shutting down those comments without making it awkward.
“Pole dancing came from strip clubs, and I’m super grateful for that history. I do it more for fitness/art/sport, but we’re all part of the same pole family.”This one’s great if you want to educate a little without the full TED Talk.
“Strippers are some of the most badass athletes I know. I take classes for [insert your reason], but I love learning from the people who really started it all.”If you train at a studio where current or former strippers teach—you already know.
“Honestly, I wish I were good enough to make it rain on a stage. Strippers are next-level.”Sprinkle in some self-deprecating humor and admiration? Chef’s kiss. 👌

🏋️‍♀️ Why You Pole = Your Business

Pole can be sexy. It can be sporty. It can be slow, flowy, fierce, or funny. Some people love tricks and spins; others love dancing in 8-inch heels with a floor grind that could end marriages. There’s no one “right” way to do pole—and no one reason people start.

Whether you’re in it for strength, expression, community, competition, or just to feel like the baddie you are—it’s all valid.

And just because your path doesn’t involve a club stage doesn’t mean you need to distance yourself from those who do.

🧠 Why This Stuff Matters

Every time someone’s like, “Are you a stripper?” and we jump to say, “OMG no!!!” like it’s the worst insult ever, we’re accidentally reinforcing the exact stigma that hurts all of us.

Pole dancers and strippers share a pole. Literally. So let’s not build a wall around who’s “respectable” and who’s not.

You can own your identity and uplift the people who built the stage (sometimes literally) that we all get to dance on.

💖 Real Talk

Talking about pole with your family, coworkers, or your friend’s judgy cousin can be awkward. But you don’t have to choose between standing up for yourself and standing with sex workers.

Keep it kind. Keep it honest. Keep reminding people that pole is powerful, beautiful, and multi-faceted—just like the people who do it.

You don’t need to shrink yourself (or your art) to fit someone else’s comfort zone. And here’s the thing: having these convos actually helps shift the narrative.

Every time we talk about pole with pride and compassion, we chip away at the stigma—not just for ourselves, but for the folks who built this path before us. That matters.

Because when we challenge judgment and misinformation, we’re not just defending our chosen passion—we’re helping make the world safer for the dancers and workers who still face real harm from being misunderstood. And that’s powerful AF.